Wednesday, 10 August 2011
THE ONLY PLAUSIBLE SOLUTION TO THIS DISPICABLE RIOTING IS THE IMMEDIATE REFORMATION OF THE SEAHORSES
With everybody having their own skewed take on the causes and solutions of the current wave of riots that are sweeping British cities, Spinal Bap would like to propose a more rational suggestion:
The years 1996 to 1999 witnessed no major riots in Britain. It is clearly no coincidence that this was also the era in which John Squire’s post-Stone Roses rock group The Seahorses were an active force. It is imperative for the stability of the nation that our Prime Minister David Cameron make an immediate statement demanding the reformation of The Seahorses and that he enlist their services in reinstating peace and stability. In the last twelve years society has completely broken down, with many parents, children, schools, communities, and politicians demonstrating scant regard for the importance of The Seahorses.
Following the inevitable, and much demanded, reformation of the Chris Helme-fronted indie pop band, those who dare to continue to behave with an irresponsible disregard for law, order, and The Seahorses’ one hugely influential album Do It Yourself should be treated with extreme prejudice and little sympathy; tear gas, rubber bullets and water cannons should be employed against anybody who cannot remember the words to ‘Blinded by the Sun’.
Failing these extreme measures, what are Symposium up to?