LIAM GALLAGHER TO PRODUCE NEW TV ON THE RADIO ALBUM

Legendary Beady Eye frontman Liam Gallagher is to produce the next TV On The Radio LP. Gallagher is no stranger to knob twiddling, though he has never produced an album before.

The announcement will certainly thrill those fans who stuck with TV On The Radio through their last couple of dull, conservative albums.

Interviewed on the way to the studio, Gallagher was reported saying, “for this productiiiiiiion I’m gonna proper reign in TV’s imaginatiiiiiion and experimentatiiiiiiiion. Fuckin’ tambourine’s going higher in the mix for a start, d’you know what I mean? Shitbags.”

In other news, Beady Eye will be curating the All Tomorrow’s Parties festival at Camber Sands on 10-12 May, 2013. Guaranteed to delight ATP’s clientele of moustachioed cardigan-wearers, the star-studded line-up includes Cast, Paul Weller, Heavy Stereo, 18 Wheeler, Kula Shaker, Northern Uproar, Dodgy, Hurricane No.1, The Charlatans, Ian Brown, that bloke from The Verve, Shed 7, Shellac, Doves, Elbow, Ocean Colour Scene, The Coral, and the Appleton sisters’ post-All Saints supergroup Appleton performing every track of their cult-classic debut album Everything’s Eventual.

Book your chalet now to secure disappointment.

OFFENSIVE NO DOUBT VIDEO SHOWS BAND POSING AS MUSICIANS

 

 

No Doubt have been forced to withdraw the controversial video of their latest single, ‘Looking Hot’. The promo, which featured No Doubt posing as a cartoonish ska-pop band, caused offense among communities of authentic musicians.

The video showed two of the group’s members - Tom Dumont and Adrian Young - dressed as cowboys, wielding instruments. Tony Kanal could be seen playing bass in a headdress, while Gwen Stefani, also in Native American costume, engaged in extensive miming.

After posting the film online, the band received a barrage of complaints on sites such as Youtube. One commentator wrote: “This video is very insensitive and very discourteous. Stefani, you have disrespected and slighted the entire musical community with your counterfeit portrayal of our heritage. The way you prance and frolic around, playing so-called ‘music’, is a mockery of our way of life and culture.”

Historically, musicians have suffered extensive discrimination and prejudice at the hands of non-musical Americans. Even today, musicians are stigmatized as poor, lazy, alcoholic herb-smokers and are often portrayed as violent, sexually-aggressive criminals with low levels of intelligence.

Following the complaints, No Doubt withdrew their video and released the following statement of apology: “Our intention with our new video was never to offend, hurt or trivialise musical people, their culture or their history. Although we consulted with musician friends and musical culture experts at the University of California, we realise now that we have offended people. We sincerely apologise to the musical community and anyone else offended by this video. This is a multi-racial band, founded on diversity. We would not be where we are today had we ever discriminated on the basis of creed, colour, gender, or talent.”

PRESIDENT SPRINGSTEEN WINS SECOND TERM

President Springsteen has been re-elected to a second term, defeating the Republican challenger Meatloaf.

In a victory speech that lasted over three and a half hours and included a rare solo performance of ‘Thunder Road’, President Bruce promised the United States of America that the “the best is yet to come”, even in light of 2003’s Essential Bruce Springsteen greatest hits CD. He pressed for a bipartisan approach to politics and emphasised his continued commitment to the themes of hope, the economy, unemployment, foreign policy, and racing through the streets in a Cadillac. He thanked the American people, his wife, family, and Vice President Van Zandt.

Bruce’s victory follows an intensive worldwide campaign (dubbed the ‘Wrecking Ball’ tour) which began in March 2012, covering 87 cities in North America, South America and Europe.

Challenger Meatloaf’s campaign, on the other hand, suffered problems from the outset. Mr Loaf employed bewildering, insubstantial slogans which failed to communicate a clear political message, such as “Life is a lemon and I want my money back” and “Objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are”. Asked about gay rights, Loaf replied ambiguously, “I would do anything for love - but I won’t do that”.

Political commentators have also suggested that many among the Republican Party’s support base found certain aspects of Meatloaf’s background difficult to swallow. For example, the revelations that he had appeared in the unashamed celebration of sexual deviancy The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and had also starred in the anti-capitalist movie Fight Club, in which he wore an intimidating pair of fake breasts.

In his concession speech, Mr Loaf congratulated President Springsteen on his victory, paid tribute to his running mate Jim Steinman, called for an end to “partisan bickering and political posturing”, and hinted at the possibility of Bat Out of Hell IV.