EXCITEMENT MOUNTS AS MALKMUS CONFIRMS JICKS REUNION

The tantalizing rumours have been circulating throughout the indie rock world for months, but now the moment we’ve all been waiting for is glistening alluringly upon the horizon: Stephen Malkmus has finally announced that he is to reform his seminal and hugely influential guitar and keyboard outfit, Stephen Malkmus and The Jicks.

The Jicks, need we remind you, were active in the years 2001-2008 during which time they astounded fans and critics alike with their four LP releases and hit tunes such as Jo Jo’s Jacket, Dark Wave, Baby C’mon, and that song where he says the word “One” over and over again. Since early 2010, however, Malkmus has been inexplicably frittering his time away by playing in the obscure and oddly-named lo-fi group Pavement; a band who are usually accused of causing more irritation than pleasure on account of being too sloppy, too underproduced, too lyrically dexterous, and of not letting Malkmus play enough of his sublimely long and unfocussed not-quite-soothing yet not-quite-rocking nimble-fingered guitar solos.

Having finally put this stain on an otherwise pristine résumé behind him, Malkmus has confirmed on his website that The Jicks are to reform with their classic line-up of Malkmus, Janet Weiss, Joanna Bolme, and that skinny bald guy who makes all those already perfect tunes even more perfect by playing twiddly bits on the keyboard, occasionally hitting a tambourine, and dancing as overenthusiastically as a sexually repressed English Literature masters student having mistakenly overestimated the jollity of the atmosphere at an underwhelming house party.

The Jicks will embark on a world tour next year, with dates on two or perhaps even three different continents, in support of a brand new album produced by none other than the Prince-impersonating Scientologist Beck, a record which will no doubt stringently avoid the pitfalls of sloppiness, underproduction, too few guitar solos, and intelligent lyrical dexterity.

In other news, the long awaited Frank Black and the Catholics reformation has been frustratingly postponed even longer, with Black choosing to schedule further dates with his lackluster vanity project The Pixies.