Thursday, 9 June 2011


Campaigners at this year’s Glastonbury Festival are planning to stage a demonstration during U2’s headlining set, voicing their opposition to the multimillionaire group’s avoidance of paying Larry Mullen, Jr.

It has recently come to light that since U2’s formation Larry has technically been under contract as an unpaid intern, with limited access to tour catering and a minimal rider allowance. When not on tour, Larry earns a living by giving drum lessons to schoolchildren in Dublin and gigging with U2 tribute band “U2(ii)”.

Campaigners have highlighted U2’s hypocrisy in pretending to care for the developing world, playing numerous high profile benefit gigs such as Live Aid, Live 8 and various other Boomtown Rats shows, and imploring their fans to donate their hard earned cash to good causes, whilst at the same time being so greedy themselves as to not even pay their own drummer. The protesters have promised to stop short of actually disrupting U2’s set, but are determined to make their demonstration highly visible by waving giant banners displaying slogans such as “Bono Pay Larry” and “Make Larry’s Poverty History” and by wearing giant cardboard cut-out masks of a sad-faced Larry with the words “Poor Larry” written across the forehead.

Chastity Goodall, an evangelical Christian, lifelong U2 enthusiast, and member of the Delirious? fan club, said “I love U2 almost as much as I love Our Lord Jesus Christ, but it is appalling that they continue to neglect Larry in this way. Larry is an integral part of the U2 dynamic and he is every bit as important as Bono, The Edge or the other one.” Then she started banging on about the eye of a needle or something.

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